The Happy Ism Prism

illuminating isms without the schisms

Is wokeism giving you a strokeism?

Why not try —

baroqueism: practicing the art of fancy-schmancy such as sporting a powdered wig while eating a powdered doughnut with Victorian dollhouse utensils or delicately applying baby powder to your dainties (located beneath your bloomers) with a powder-poofy chinchilla named Alastair

Tone Locism: jammin’ to a Now That’s What I Call Old Ass Hip Hop cassette in your Daewoo with windows down to fully receive those aw yeah nods from X’ers walking off funky cold medina and nacho pounds in spiffy New Balance hightops with plantar fasciitis arch support

colloquialism: do I hafta splain this to y’all

jokeism: once a gem of an ism bringing gasms of laughter to all the peepo only to be cast down an empty well where it’ll get the hose again if it opens its filthy mouth

croakism: barely careening your new ecologically sound but maneuverability deficient electric mower just in time to avoid snuffing a smartly dressed frog *phew* only to *gasp* reveal another amphibian’s size 1/8 shredded tweed ensemble in the mulch pile (Rest in Peace Frog…I Mean Toad)

yolkism: Oh perfect sun centered in white tasteless snotty cloud, I let slip your magnificence from non-stick transformer radiating away your bad tendency to leave only your ooey gooey goodness. Allow me to ensconce you in this toasty bedding. Shh. I smother thee. Shh. I smother thee with love. Shhhhhhhhh.

blokeism: following the top-shelf work of Matthew Querzoli and saving up for a bucket list excursion to Australia for some quality koala time

tokeism: the…the……….the…you know…the…….hey……hey…….…do you like have any…you know…pretzels….or mutton…………when time is it………. what?…………..😐………..….

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