High on the Tube
She’s seeing things
The kids?
Outside.
Daddy?
Washing dishes.
Mommy?
Relaxing after a long day of homeschooling.
She -
giggles
gasps
carries on conversations
with no one.
She’s either
a. snapped
b. harvested poppies for recreational purposes
c. begun shuffling YouTube
Do audible clues help?
You decide.
Quote -
- She made birds out of sand! *gasp* Can you believe it?
- Dear mercy! The human body is not meant to do that.
- *gasp* That kitten just needs love. Yes you do! Yes you do!
- Yap yap yap…why don’t you just shut up. OK…that’s enough out of you.
- Add ice cream. Tell me she’s adding ice cream. *gasp* She did!
- Well guess what, stupid. You got hurt because you’re stupid.
- Look at your tiny hands! *gasp* They’re so tiny! Hello, tiny hands! Hello!
- This Russian can balance on one hand. I can’t balance on two feet.
- OK, can I just say those are not real. No way are they real.
- Excuse me — please, PLEASE tell me why you’re a millionaire and I’m not.
- You — yes, you —should not have children. Ever. EVER!
- *gasp* This is exactly why I don’t ride rollercoasters. I’m getting sick watching this. God no. Stop this. Stop. Where’s the mouse? Stop.
- Good God — another Marvel movie?
- I swear Fortnite is fixed.
- Wait — that’s a man? No! Wait. OK…wait. No.
- *sigh* YouTube now has more commercials than TV.
- When you’re old and you dress like that, it’s just not appropriate. No no no.
- How could anyone let their dog get so obese? *gasp* Oh poor baby. He just needs love.
