Correct Me If I’m Wrong

Do you lash out at friends who are trying to help your sorry ass?

Do you become exorcist girl after you’ve asked loved ones for their opinion and they give it to you?

Do you get pissy and passive-aggressive toward family due to feelings of inadequacy you’ve harbored ever since elementary school when teachers made incessant comparisons to your older smarter sibling?

If so, you may suffer from Stupid Ungrateful Schmuck Syndrome.

Left untreated, SUSS may cause feelings of extreme isolation or in severe cases, an eye-watering stinging sensation in the groin.

If you’ve experienced these symptoms, check with your doctor and ask for the location of the nearest hardware store.

Duck Tape

It’s not just for window repair.

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